Thursday, December 22, 2011

Merry Christmas & SomeThings That Made Me Happy Since I Last Blogged

Before my happy things a quickish update on our life.  

As some of you may know Jason and I have decided it is time to move forward with adoption.  We decided we were going to work with LDSFS this spring and filed this summer.  After months of getting no where and feeling uncomfortable with the situation we have decided that we are going to pursue adoption through foster care instead. We knew we were doing the right thing filing for adoption but just felt like something wasn't right  when we initially decided to go with LDSFS. I tried to shrug it off for quite some time because I didn't want to have to give up any more hopes and dreams along the way.  

I think most people don't understand the stages of grief you go through when you can't have your own children and decide to adopt (I'm not sure I even understand the heartbreak I have felt through all of this).  It took me awhile to give in to foster care adoption because I didn't want to give up the slight chance that I could be there when my baby was born if we found birth parents willing to let me do so.  I dreamed of having an open adoption with loving birth parents who want nothing but the best for their child and that is why they decided to place them.  Now I have to try to not feel like we are stealing someones children and have to accept that chances of having a loving open adoption are slim to none (probably far closer to none).  I have also had to accept that the chances of us receiving an infant are slim to none and if we do they will likely either have alcohol or drug exposure.  There is far more than I could ever even begin to explain but those are the big ones. So it has been an overwhelming few weeks and I have just focused every day on making it out of bed and keeping myself together.  

I think I am starting to do a little bit better and have completely embraced foster care adoption.  There are so many children from infants to older children who need love and I know that my kids are waiting for me and I want nothing more than to find them and start giving them the life they deserve.

Jason's Uncle Robb and Aunt Kari just adopted four kids through a foster care agency here in Fresno and we decided we would meet with them.  From the minute we met with them two weeks ago everything felt so peaceful and I knew without a doubt we were doing the right thing.  When we started our meeting I wanted to cry tears of joy because it felt like something on this road to becoming parents finally felt right.  However along with this joy came a very overwhelming load of stress.  There apparently is a huge need for foster and adoptive parents in the county right now and they are moving A LOT faster than I ever expected they would.  

We have to have our home ready to accept two children boys or girls from newborn to six.  This has led to us scrambling the last few weeks to gather everything we need.  We have had a lot of support from family and friends and I can't express how thankful I am.  We got bunk beds, a cradle, some clothes, books, toys, and bought just about everything you could think!  We have spent FAR too much at Target lately, but I couldn't think of a better thing for our money to go to!  We still need a crib, and will probably end up buying one after Christmas because we had a few people offer us their crib but they are drop side and to be home study approved they have to meet some very specific specifications.  But it is a totally worthwhile investment and if we don't end up needing it because the kids are too old we can find a good home for it.  It has been amazing how quickly all of this has come together.  If all goes as planned we will have our first foster placement by the first week of January.  Oh so exciting! It has been far too long of a wait to have children in our home!

That is really all that we have been up to...still working and going to school and trying to keep it all together.  So onto things that have made me happy since my last blog...

  • Thanksgiving at my parents house
  • Date with Loralye to the Merry go Round and Disney Store
  • Trip to Long Beach with James, Julie, Adam & Brittney
  • Seeing Anne & John on said Long Beach trip
  • Seeing Sarah & Nate on same said Long Beach trip
  • Christmas shopping for Jason...I think I'm more excited for him to get his presents than I am for myself
  • Becoming SO much closer to having kids
  • Pictures of baby Merritt Conder!
  • Snuggle time with all of the babies at church
  • The Christopherson family Christmas party (I am amazing at the greatness of the family I married into)
  • My Liver...enough said
  • Andy & Will's engagement
  • My brilliant desserts for the family Christmas party...I am super proud of myself! (Picture of one below)
  • Finally getting to sleep more than 4 hours a night
  • Manuel & Isaiah's adoption finalization and was perfect!

     I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and I will be back soon :D

    Thursday, November 17, 2011

    Ten Things That Made Me Happy Since I Last Blogged

    It has been another very busy few weeks.  I cannot wait for my four day Thanksgiving weekend!  It is going to be fabulous!

    There isn't really anything exciting to report so I'll just get on with my 10 things.

    1. Jason finishing applying for internships...he's basically amazing and I'm sure they will all be fighting over him
    2. Hanging out with the fam on Sunday.  It's been a few weeks since we were both sick and it was nice to just see everyone and potentially make plans to hang out with the sisters next week.
    3. Hanging out with Aaron, Lauren, Loralye and the rest of the Call clan.  Loralye had to show everyone her princess fridge!
    4. Watching Jonathan and getting all of his snuggles.
    5. Dinner with Aaron & Kristen
    6. Last night of one more class.  Three more months until I'm DONE...I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. (Until I start my masters in the fall haha)
    7. Seeing Kat & Tiffany at InTouch...I miss those lovely ladies being in my life every day!
    8. The rain finally came to see me! Now if only it would snow...then maybe I'd feel at home.
    9. Finding slippers to fit Jason's giant feet that weren't $9088924239.
    10. Being able to help Grandma get Grandpa the elevated bed he needed.  The relief on her face was such an amazing thing!

    Thursday, November 3, 2011

    TenThings That Made Me Happy Since I Last a little

    If there was an award for worst blogger ever, I would win it!  That must be like the award for giving the worst massages ever.  At least if I am going to be the worst, I am going to be the best worst there is! 

    Today this blog really is for me and I just had to find time to post the happy thoughts.  I am having a difficult time with the hand I have been dealt in this life right now and need to focus on the good in any way possible. 
    A lot has gone on in the past month or so since I last found some time to post.  Basically all I can say is good riddance October!!!  It was the busiest month ever.  I think had I not started a new job it wouldn't have seemed so overwhelming, but trying to absorb everything I need to means that I have little mental energy left for anything else.  I have to say that I am happy with the way everything turned out and I managed to find a way fit everything in. 

    So since there was a lot going on in October, there is a lot that made me happy.  Since it's hard to remember all the little things, I will try to highlight all the big things. 

    1. My parents coming for the weekend
    2. Date night with Aaron & Lauren, Phil & Ashley
    3. Loralye & Jonathan... (self explanatory)
    4. Kristen coming to help me get ready for the baby shower
    5. An entire day of just Cynthia & Andrea time
    6. Finishing my humanities class...I just don't enjoy the majority of the subject
    7. Travis's wedding.  Such a happy groom, he was SO sweet during the sealing. :)
    8. Halloween costumes
    9. Sarah's baby shower coming together decently
    10. Seeing Sarah & Nate
    11. All of Jasons hard work getting everything ready while I was working
    12. Andy & Will coming for the weekend
    13. Being the only person in my training class to score two 100's on my quality & accountability eval. (I might have a competition problem...I am the first to admit I have to be the best at everything, and I mean EVERYTHING)
    14. Jason submitting the first of his internship applications
    15. The ward primary program going so well.  The kids were fabulous!

    Thursday, September 29, 2011

    Ten Things That Made Me Happy Since I Last Blogged

    Oh blog, I got busy and forgot about you.  I would promise it won't happen again, but that would be a lie!


    1. Amber coming to spend the weekend before her birthday
    2. Celebrating Leann's birthday Sunday night with everyone
    3. Starting my new job
    4. Making it through the first boring week of training (the first week is always awful isn't it?)
    5. How I Met Your Mother Season 6!!!
    6. Starting Cost Accounting
    7. Web cam chats with my family with some happy news
    8. Making plans for a date with Aaron & Lauren when they are in town
    9. Jen's baby shower
    10. Not having to teach a primary lesson for 3 weeks in a row. Don't judge me! :D

    Monday, September 5, 2011

    Ten Things That Made Me Happy This Week

    1. Aaron and Kristin coming over for dinner Monday night
    2. Talking to Krista about her first week of school
    3. Seeing Cameron, Natalie, and Steve...and having catch up time with Natalie.  I MISS YOU!
    4. Playing with (babysitting) three adorable children Friday night
    5. Aaron's birthday party Saturday night
    6. Going to Sequoia National Park today with James & Julie, Leann & Jared
    7. Sunday naps
    8. Finishing all of my homework in time for class on was a bit of a miracle
    9. Spending so much time with Kristen
    10. Having such an amazing supportive family helping through the rough days

    Monday, August 29, 2011

    Ten Things That Made Me Happy This Week

    1. Tuesday night date with Aaron & Kristen, Thomas & Amy, and Joanie
    2. Making it through 32 hours of homework in two days...finishing it was the happy part!
    3. Seeing Sarah & Nate
    5. Jason voluntarily playing Phase 10 with me
    6. Running errands with Kristen before they went out of town
    7. Pictures of my little love Loralye
    8. Baby shower fun
    9. Stay at home movie date night with Jason
    10. How I Met Your Mother Season 5

    Monday, August 22, 2011

    Ten Things That Made Me Happy This Week

    1. Celebration dinner at John's Incredible...celebrating Jonathan's health. Puke and all!!! :)
    2. Having such amazing family (Aaron & Kristen) who treated us to the evening so we could participate in the fun...thanks again!!!
    3. Actually enjoying my 4 hour Thursday night class...hooray for accounting classes!
    4. Getting a job
    5. Sleeping in on Saturday
    6. Blackbeards waterslides with Krista and making a toddler friend who needed a ride companion. :) I'll take the sunburn for toddler time!!!
    7. Finding and finishing my book I started months ago which disappeared into the abyss somehow
    8. Date with Andy!!!!!!
    9. Seeing Beth in the airport and catching up
    10. Seeing everyone at Christian's Reception and seeing him and his beautiful bride SO happy!